The Invitation

We had the privilege of being at an old friend's wedding yesterday afternoon, and as part of the ceremony the following was read. It is truly beautiful and inspiring, and so I want to share it with all of you.   

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

From the inside out

I have to start this post by saying that – over the past two days – I have once again been reminded of just how blessed I am by the friends that surround me. Thank you for love, for honest talks and for the inspiration and wisdom you bring into my life. I am VERY lucky to be able to call you “friends”! Anyhoo, back to what we have been honestly talking about.

I have always been “not too shabby” where communication is concerned – it is one of the few things that come naturally for me. I have lots of words, I can put them in straight lines and logical arguments, and I usually do not stumble over them when talking. It is only in the past week or so that I have realised that exactly this natural aptitude has made me lazy…and has made my ability to communicate devolve…

The strange thing is that, when the realisation finally hit, I wanted to sulk. This is something that I'm good at; it's not supposed to be so much work…demmit! I want to quote Strengthsfinder and say that we shouldn't be focusing so much energy on things we have to work too hard at, things that aren't our natural strengths. But then good friends remind me that that isn't exactly what the Strengthsfinder team had in mind (or communicated, if I'm being honest). And (of course) I watch a show about professional sports and realise that, even though an athlete obviously has to have a natural affinity for the sport, that affinity sans daily practice and honing of the skill doesn't mean much for long. It might even mean that someone that's less talented, but more dedicated, replaces you.

My (unwilling) conclusion? Being good at something does not mean less work. Focusing on your strengths does not mean less practice. It just means more effective work and more efficient practice. And so I am pulling myself back - with a LOT of help from my friends - from the ever-present abyss of: "It must be that I am not good enough and that this is not a strength of mine." And I will daily be replacing that falling thought with: "I am honing my skill and perfecting my strength." What a difference that makes!

"Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways." - H Jackson Brown