The Alternative

It was Friday afternoon and we were on our way to do a skit at the “Beauty for Ashes” conference at New Life Church…in Johannesburg…that meant traffic was an experience…and I had a lot of time to think…tumtumtum!

I was riding with the Quantum – I had Imagine Dragons blasting on my headphones, and one of the students I mentor catching a little shut-eye on my shoulder. It was one of the times that I looked over at her, just to make sure she was comfortable, that it hit me – I have the privilege of sitting next to one of the most beautiful souls I know. More than that, she trusts me enough to allow me to be a part of her world, to speak into that world, to be the one whose shoulder she sleeps on. What an awe-inspiring and totally undeserved gift God has given me. And she is not the only one! Following this sentimental little road where it lead me, I thought of all the other students who have allowed me into their lives and into their hearts, and it took all I had not to start bawling like a hysterical woman.

But the road I had decided to walk down led even further, and this is what I want to share with you. For thinking about all the different students who share their lives with me, I was reminded of their diversity…and of stereotypes…

How often in our every day do we think and talk about stereotypes? You know, those conversations which start with ALL, and then you fill in the stereotype you have in mind – blacks, Jews, coloureds, politicians, Indians, men, athletes etc. – always in the negative, of course. And, in a way, it's understandable – there are so many people who affirm exactly that negative stereotype. So many, in fact, that it almost feels like there is nothing else to talk about.

But, sitting in that Quantum, I was reminded of all the stereotyped (you could say stereotypical?) people I share my life with, who do everything but affirm the negatives that are so easily thrown on them as a race or a culture or a gender. People who – according to stereotype – should be so many negative things; but whose hearts are in fact bigger than the biggest thing I could ever think of, who live lives of grace and beauty, whose souls shine brighter than mine ever could. 

I am sure – if you were to look carefully at your life and the people in it – that you would also discover those people. And then the question becomes: “Who will you choose to focus on when you decide what your outlook will be (whether it is the week ahead, or life in South Africa in general)?

I have a feeling that, if we choose to change where we focus our thoughts, our conversations and our time – from the negative we so easily gravitate towards, to the positive that is (actually) ever-present in our lives – we will be surprised and energised by the result. "Stereotypes do exist, but we have to walk through them." - Forest Whitaker