I have been thinking a lot about kaleidoscopes lately…the magic
of looking through one small “window” and having a bright world of colourful patterns
unfold before you…patterns that change with the turn of your hand…patterns that
are so different from the one’s before them that it’s almost impossible to imagine
that they’re formed from the same shards of glass and beads…and all of that
with a simple tube, a triangle of mirrors, and the most random of objects
thrown together in the bottom. Whimsical, magical and mesmerising…yet oh so
simple…
And then I started wondering about that random collection of
bits and bobs that become the beautiful patterns we see. About what it must
feel like to be constantly thrown around and rolled about, with no
understanding of what it could possibly mean. Something inside me clicked – how
often does my life, do I, feel like bits and bobs of everything and nothing
being thrown around carelessly for no apparent reason? How often does it feel
like only little bits here and there make sense? And then, just when I feel
like I’ve started putting those pieces together in a way that makes sense to
me, every part of me is shaken up again…bits and bobs flying everywhere…
If we are honest, then most of the time only pieces of our
lives make sense – we can see the development, the function and the colour of
some of the parts that we are made of. But we struggle to find the bigger
picture, the meaning of all these smaller pieces of ourselves as a whole. And
this cripples us…makes us feel “less”…empty…devoid of purpose. For if we cannot
see the bigger picture, then surely there isn’t one?! Insecurity intensified
every time our attempt at a picture is shaken up…and boy, does that happen
often!
In the thick of this chaos, this constant change, the pain
of having everything we think we know shuffled around; it is only human to
forget the bigger picture…hell, to even imagine there can be such a thing as a
“bigger picture”. And then not just any picture, but a beautiful and colourful
one whose magic lies exactly in its ever-changing nature.
"Our days are a kaleidoscope. Every instant a change takes place. New harmonies, new contrasts, new combinations of every sort. The most familiar people stand each moment in some new relation to each other, to their work, to surrounding objects." - Henry Ward Beecher
We do not have the benefit of heaven’s eyes, the benefit of being
able to look down from above and see the refracted splendour. For, even if we
were to try and find a picture in the mirrors above and around us, it would
still be one-dimensional.
That is the mystery and the glory of life…of faith…while we
are in this life we cannot see the bigger picture – we cannot see the magic and
the beauty that rearranging the elements of ourselves bring into being. We can
only experience the change and the pain and the insecurity that goes with it.
Perhaps this is how it is meant to be – for glory to belong only to God,
preventing us from arrogance. Perhaps our goal should not be to see the bigger
picture, but to experience every rearrangement for what it is – God creating
beauty with us and within us. Perhaps we will be many things…perhaps we will
wonder about what we are becoming…perhaps it is time to stop stressing about
the outcome and start experiencing it for what it is
"The world
is your kaleidoscope, and the varying combinations of colours, which at every
succeeding moment it presents to you are the exquisitely adjusted pictures of
your ever-moving thoughts. So you will be, what you 'will' to be. Let
failure find its false content, in that poor word 'environment'. But
spirit scorns it and is free." - James Allen
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