All the very best of us

Captain’s Log: It is now Day 50 000 without Sarel, and things are starting to look dreary. OK…it’s actually Day 7…but definitely Day 50 000 in emotional time! His absence – except for a short Skype chat daily – has ingrained in me just how important the people in our lives are.

“A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” – Lois Wyse

Not because they change the order of a day, the circumstances we live in, or the things that have to happen; but because, without them, nothing has true meaning. For what good is a photo if you have no one to show it to? What fun is a silly happening with no one to laugh about it with? How deep can any experience be when you don’t have those special people who you only need to make eye contact with to see and know that they truly understand?

And here I am not talking about the casual relationships we all have – which also involve a level of care. I am talking about those relationships with history and weight. Those people who know every fibre of your being - every joy, every dream, every flaw, every tick and every embarrassing moment. Those people who have decided to throw their lives in with yours. Not because you are perfect, not even always because you deserve it, but because the warts and all journey with you is worth more than having no journey.

It is because they know our hearts, our passions and our dreams that these things remain alive - they know the song in your heart, AND can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Something is meaningful because you are able to share it with someone who knows the meaning it has for you - his or her understanding, his or her witness, gives validation. And, when we are not validated, we become disconnected and lonely, floating through life. We lose our ability to give and to receive. We become shells of the people we are meant to be. Remember - everyone hears what you say, friends listen to what you say, and best friends listen to what you don't say.

 “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

To every one of you who have been this friend for me, who have rekindled my inner fire more times than I can count, thank you does not begin to describe my feelings…but thank you all the same. Thank you for always being willing to gather up the pieces of me I lose, or that get chipped off, along the way. Thank you for opening up possibilities in me I would never have known existed had you not decided to stay in my life.

You are the reason that I am able to live and mean it. You are the reason that I know joy. You make me significant. 

The desire of my heart is to be even a smidgeon of that for you.